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March 20, 2013
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She was clutching his dark blue hoodie with fervor, as though the only thing keeping her body from bursting open from nerves was the ardor grip she kept on his physical being. She was still horribly distraught, even after the sobs of her brother had quieted down and he came to her room to hold her in his arms, gently caressing her cheeks to rid her of her tears while neglecting his own.

She didn’t understand. All she had done was come home fifteen minutes late. Her bus had gotten a late start from the school because one of the boys had decided to chance a suspension for a day of infamy by pulling the fire alarm during the last bell. It wasn’t like she had gone to play hooky or had gotten herself hurt.

So why was her brother gripping his head so hard that his fingertips were bloody when she got home? Why was he weeping and moaning utter gibberish? Why did he insist on continuing his unsettling back and forth rocking, even when she told him what happened and showed him that she was fine?

It frightened her. Her brother was her everything. He was always there to offer her warm tea in the morning when she didn’t want to move from her warm covers, he never failed to read her a bedtime story in his gentle monotone voice when she didn’t feel sleepy at night, and he always made sure to set the little table in her room just the way she liked it when it was time for a tea party.

He was the one that was supposed to remain absolute, resilient, unfazed. To ward away danger and fear. But he had broken down over something so little, something so inconsequential. He faced near-death experiences and moral dilemmas every day. What was the factor that made this instance so different?

She didn’t know. She couldn’t know. Try as she might, she didn’t understand her brother, and it seemed as though he didn’t quite understand himself either. So she sat there, eyes rimmed red and trembling all over, in her brother’s safe embrace. Their tears intermingled and dropped down together, forming puddles of uncertainty and despair.
I've only had two or three severe panic attacks in my lifetime.
Though it’s extremely scary and painful to experience a panic attack, I can’t imagine what it would be like for the person that has to try and understand what’s going on.

Especially if that person is 10 years old.

So I wrote a little drabble for Bluejay featuring R.J. and Raina. I feel like even though Raina loves R.J. with all her heart and sees him as being “her everything,” she still has a very hard time understanding his autism.
So she usually has to wait for Wesley to get home or she ends up crying herself when R.J. has a panic attack because she becomes frightened that he’s acting that way and that she doesn’t know how to stop it.

BlueJay (c) me
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:iconpapertom:
PaperTom Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013
Ive never had anyone try to aproche or really help me in a breakdown and now i guess i get why. It sound scary to someone on the outside.
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:iconbuddhathebob:
BuddhatheBob Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I'm sorry man
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:iconawsometastical101:
awsometastical101 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013
I really enjoy that you added that R.J. was a constant calm in her life, it makes a bigger impact.

I've never experienced or watched someone experience a panic attack, but it sounds insanely scary.
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:iconbuddhathebob:
BuddhatheBob Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I always felt that Raina would see R.J. as a weird brother/parent unit instead of just a brother, so I'm glad it works :D

Good, because it's not fun :fear:
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:icondivinedensinty:
divinedensinty Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013
Wow this is some deep stuff, reminds me of my mother but not as extreme.
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:icondivinedensinty:
divinedensinty Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013
Love your work
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:iconoomlow:
oomlow Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I don't even know what to say. This was amazing.
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:iconpatrickwithwords:
PatrickWithWords Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013
Very well-written. I love all of the description, you've done a really great job of conveying the emotions through it. Great work!
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:iconkittysdaone:
Kittysdaone Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Woah that was such an interesting insight, thanks for sharing. That sounds really scary and ur description was great. Awesome job
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:iconshadowyj:
ShadowYJ Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Distraught …why isn't anyone just traught? I applied you madam. This Is great story. I love the descriptiveness of the wise word you chose. Please write more!
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